since its been awhile, I can't be bothered to look for my old beat up calendar to look at the dates, so lets assume this pathetic little entry will make up for the fact that I've been gone for so long...
Wow, its been awhile since I've written any of these "journal entries" I can virtually blow virtual cobwebs of my virtual desk where I write these virtual entries.
I have been uncharacteristically busy these past few weeks, preparing for my much awaited, Confirmation. It was a sunny Sunday morning when I reached the church of Jesus Caritas in Kepong to finalize my rite of Confirmation. As part of the dress code, I was (forced, threatened, pushed into) wearing a withe blouse and white skirt.Nothing much to say about the act of Confirming but the pizza party we had later was really fun.
My classmates (from Sunday school) and I congregated at the house of my Sunday school teacher as she had invited us over to commemorate our last day as the Form 5 class of 2012, and what a fantastic party it was. I will not bore my readers with details to the party (well, more of, after typing three essays, I am a little sick of looking at this blasted keyboard) so I will sign off early today (don't I always)
Have an amazing week people, ciao
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Childhood Fears
I was a simple child, lived in Klang for two years before I got my first asthma attack, forcing my family to move to my dad's hometown in Kota Bahru, Kelantan where i would be safe from contaminated air. There I spent my days lying on the floor or watching my grandmother expertly push a needle through pieces of fabric to create a beautiful garment or watch her talk to her friends in the unique Kelantanese slang that until today I can barely grasp. It was not like I feared many things besides the prospect of a cane coming into contact with my skin but seeing as I am unable to fill up a whole essay just typing about my hatred for those canes I have no choice but to reach deep down to access my fears, so I will tell a few tales of fear from my childhood.
One of my fears used to be of dolls, and no, not those overly superficial barbie dolls that are a girl's dream toy at Christmas, but those dolls that had babyish features, the ones with pale white skin, straight midnight black hair and giant eyes that close when you place them lying down. This fear began when I received one of these dolls from an aunt, it was a beautiful doll with ghostly white skin, shoulder length straight hair and big brown eyes, dressed in a plain blue kimono. Being the good girl I was, I accepted the doll gratefully and played with it till I had to sleep. I put the doll on a shelf opposite my bed and shut my eyes. I realized I couldn't sleep with the doll staring at me so I put it into a cupboard and shut my eyes again. Not long after that, I woke up with the creepy feeling of being watched and looked around in the dark room, only to see the moonlight casting a soft glow on the doll through the window. Perhaps it was just my over-imaginative mind playing tricks on me, because I saw the eyes of the doll staring straight at me, with its smile forever etched on its face, it looked really evil and the fact that it was out of the cupboard creeped me out a lot more. I threw a pillow at it so that it fell to the floor and went back to sleep. In the morning, I saw its overly happy face staring straight into my eyes. Needless to say, I screamed and jumped off my bed and ran straight into my parents' room crying about an evil doll that wanted to make me its slave.
Next, for awhile, I was very afraid of small holes, like the kind you find on sponges or rotting wood. I could not understand why, but one day, as I was helping my mother wash the dishes, I looked at the sponge, as I stared at the innocent looking holes, I felt goosebumps and felt a shiver run up my spine. It wasn't like I imagines little things in there that were waiting to take over the world, no it was more like, I was scared because I couldn't imagine anything. The little holes were like gateways to the unknown, things I'd never seen before or even thought about, all the endless possibilities that could emerge from the little holes, all because I could not thing of them.
Lastly, I was always afraid of the dark. It wasn't like I saw anything in the dark, but more like my mind would just come up with the worst scenario suddenly and I'd end up scaring myself. The fact that one could never be sure of what you would find in the dark made this situation even worse for me. It was normal to see me scurrying to my parent's room after scaring the soul out of myself and taking comfort in the warmth they provided me. I would put up a brave front for my siblings when they asked me to accompany them to the bathroom, but the wait that would last about 3 minutes or so, I would have imagined how a robber or murderer would break int the house at that very moment just to kill me, or how the creeping darkness would extend its claws to grab me and drag me past the point of no return.
As you can tell, I am quite a cowardly person, my over imaginative mind tends to cause a lot of problems for me, although many of my most creative stories stem from it, many of my fears tend to be caused by it as well.
One of my fears used to be of dolls, and no, not those overly superficial barbie dolls that are a girl's dream toy at Christmas, but those dolls that had babyish features, the ones with pale white skin, straight midnight black hair and giant eyes that close when you place them lying down. This fear began when I received one of these dolls from an aunt, it was a beautiful doll with ghostly white skin, shoulder length straight hair and big brown eyes, dressed in a plain blue kimono. Being the good girl I was, I accepted the doll gratefully and played with it till I had to sleep. I put the doll on a shelf opposite my bed and shut my eyes. I realized I couldn't sleep with the doll staring at me so I put it into a cupboard and shut my eyes again. Not long after that, I woke up with the creepy feeling of being watched and looked around in the dark room, only to see the moonlight casting a soft glow on the doll through the window. Perhaps it was just my over-imaginative mind playing tricks on me, because I saw the eyes of the doll staring straight at me, with its smile forever etched on its face, it looked really evil and the fact that it was out of the cupboard creeped me out a lot more. I threw a pillow at it so that it fell to the floor and went back to sleep. In the morning, I saw its overly happy face staring straight into my eyes. Needless to say, I screamed and jumped off my bed and ran straight into my parents' room crying about an evil doll that wanted to make me its slave.
Next, for awhile, I was very afraid of small holes, like the kind you find on sponges or rotting wood. I could not understand why, but one day, as I was helping my mother wash the dishes, I looked at the sponge, as I stared at the innocent looking holes, I felt goosebumps and felt a shiver run up my spine. It wasn't like I imagines little things in there that were waiting to take over the world, no it was more like, I was scared because I couldn't imagine anything. The little holes were like gateways to the unknown, things I'd never seen before or even thought about, all the endless possibilities that could emerge from the little holes, all because I could not thing of them.
Lastly, I was always afraid of the dark. It wasn't like I saw anything in the dark, but more like my mind would just come up with the worst scenario suddenly and I'd end up scaring myself. The fact that one could never be sure of what you would find in the dark made this situation even worse for me. It was normal to see me scurrying to my parent's room after scaring the soul out of myself and taking comfort in the warmth they provided me. I would put up a brave front for my siblings when they asked me to accompany them to the bathroom, but the wait that would last about 3 minutes or so, I would have imagined how a robber or murderer would break int the house at that very moment just to kill me, or how the creeping darkness would extend its claws to grab me and drag me past the point of no return.
As you can tell, I am quite a cowardly person, my over imaginative mind tends to cause a lot of problems for me, although many of my most creative stories stem from it, many of my fears tend to be caused by it as well.
Monday, 16 July 2012
Discrimination Lives Within Us
One may argue that, today's world is perfect, any able-thinking human being would be able to see, plain as daylight that our so called 'perfect' world is not, in fact without flaw. One of the most obvious social issue that is present in every society is, discrimination. No matter how much we would like to deny it, acts of discrimination are being performed unknowingly despite the belief that we are superior, without flaws and able to think above our Neanderthal ancestors. In spite of this, we are still unable to overlook our differences, this results in petty problems that benefits neither party. Discrimination has many forms, for example, discrimination can be done based on racial differences, skin colour, appearance, religion, sexual orientation, social status, economic background the list goes on.
Case in point, one of the most obvious forms of discriminations is the act of discriminating against other races. This form of discrimination is described as being prejudiced against others solely based on their race this can also be a form of discrimination based on skin colour. People are more prone to discriminate based on skin colour because, it is a daily occurrence in our lives, namely, since we were young, perhaps our parents told us to stay away from other races due to their overprotective nature. Even as we grow with age and our mind matures, we will still have that inkling at the back of our minds to stay away or avoid people of certain race or skin tone.
Next, we have religious discrimination. This seems to be one of the biggest controversies in our country where every individual has the right to practice his or her own faith and beliefs, as it says in our Constitution. However, with all this freedom there are certain consequences, namely differences in religious beliefs have caused a sort of divide between the people of this nation.
A rising problem of discrimination in today's modern world is the act of discriminating another individual based on their sexual orientation, namely the gays and lesbians. These individuals are constantly under the media's eyes and are usually persecuted by others. These people are judged to be unclean especially in the eyes of most religions. They are denied most human rights, such as the right to adopt a child, not because they are unfit to care for a child, others believe that just because a child grows up with two mother or two fathers instead of the usual white picket fence family with one father and a mother, they will grow up "wrong" in their society.
The next form of discrimination is the type that one may see in big corporations where an individual has to climb up the ladder to succeed. In most white collar jobs, the discrimination against women is somewhat prominent. This is because most employers believe that a woman is too troublesome to hire, because a woman has the ability to get pregnant, this causes productivity to suffer when said pregnant women take their maternity leave. People are also under the impression that a woman is unable to do most of the things that men can do, namely physical labour. This creates a glass barrier for women, as the most they can do is reach this barrier and stay under it because they are unfit to exceed it.
Therefore, our world is hardly perfect. We as human beings, thought to be the peak of evolution are unable to look past petty differences, instead we pick at those differences until it becomes an issue and cause difficulties for other, in short, we seem to enjoy making a mountain out of a molehill. We should instead be ready to embrace the fact that we are all unique, and not everybody can be like us, we must be prepared to love our fellow man for as William Gladstone once said, "We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know peace"
Case in point, one of the most obvious forms of discriminations is the act of discriminating against other races. This form of discrimination is described as being prejudiced against others solely based on their race this can also be a form of discrimination based on skin colour. People are more prone to discriminate based on skin colour because, it is a daily occurrence in our lives, namely, since we were young, perhaps our parents told us to stay away from other races due to their overprotective nature. Even as we grow with age and our mind matures, we will still have that inkling at the back of our minds to stay away or avoid people of certain race or skin tone.
Next, we have religious discrimination. This seems to be one of the biggest controversies in our country where every individual has the right to practice his or her own faith and beliefs, as it says in our Constitution. However, with all this freedom there are certain consequences, namely differences in religious beliefs have caused a sort of divide between the people of this nation.
A rising problem of discrimination in today's modern world is the act of discriminating another individual based on their sexual orientation, namely the gays and lesbians. These individuals are constantly under the media's eyes and are usually persecuted by others. These people are judged to be unclean especially in the eyes of most religions. They are denied most human rights, such as the right to adopt a child, not because they are unfit to care for a child, others believe that just because a child grows up with two mother or two fathers instead of the usual white picket fence family with one father and a mother, they will grow up "wrong" in their society.
The next form of discrimination is the type that one may see in big corporations where an individual has to climb up the ladder to succeed. In most white collar jobs, the discrimination against women is somewhat prominent. This is because most employers believe that a woman is too troublesome to hire, because a woman has the ability to get pregnant, this causes productivity to suffer when said pregnant women take their maternity leave. People are also under the impression that a woman is unable to do most of the things that men can do, namely physical labour. This creates a glass barrier for women, as the most they can do is reach this barrier and stay under it because they are unfit to exceed it.
Therefore, our world is hardly perfect. We as human beings, thought to be the peak of evolution are unable to look past petty differences, instead we pick at those differences until it becomes an issue and cause difficulties for other, in short, we seem to enjoy making a mountain out of a molehill. We should instead be ready to embrace the fact that we are all unique, and not everybody can be like us, we must be prepared to love our fellow man for as William Gladstone once said, "We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know peace"
Monday, 11 June 2012
journal entry 13
Entry for English Class - June - week 19
Well, my cyber pals, I am back from Penang!! And I have to say, all those people who talk about Penang being one of the best destinations for food lovers (i.e me) SPEAK NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!!! Although I wasn't able to try out the famous Char Kuey Teow from what I could smell, the aroma was nothing short of exquisite. The view in Penang was beautiful too, sunny beaches, various tourists, array of shops as far as the eye could see, a true paradise.
While my three day stay there was magnificent, I'm afraid I have nothing much to say, as my days were filled with mindless frolicking on the beach and deep sessions that touched my heart, so I'll end it here, Alla prossima volta (until next time) my wonderful friends
Well, my cyber pals, I am back from Penang!! And I have to say, all those people who talk about Penang being one of the best destinations for food lovers (i.e me) SPEAK NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!!! Although I wasn't able to try out the famous Char Kuey Teow from what I could smell, the aroma was nothing short of exquisite. The view in Penang was beautiful too, sunny beaches, various tourists, array of shops as far as the eye could see, a true paradise.
While my three day stay there was magnificent, I'm afraid I have nothing much to say, as my days were filled with mindless frolicking on the beach and deep sessions that touched my heart, so I'll end it here, Alla prossima volta (until next time) my wonderful friends
Journal entry 12
Entry for English class - June - week 18 & 19
Well, it's been so long since I've even visited this blog, with my exams for two weeks and my holidays, I am finally taking the initiative to write this post during the holidays...(holiday happiness is starting to get to my head, I'm almost becoming diligent...well, "almost")
Since this is an impromptu post, I really have nothing much to talk about besides my most recent trip to Malacca from the 1st of June till the 4th of June.
I joined this trip because it was held by my Church Youth Commitee, KAYM. It was a four day long trip with the theme 'Placing God First' and boy, was it an amazing trip.
It started in the afternoon, we were to gather at the church (well, more of a chapel actually) by 2:30 p.m. And took a 3 hour long bus ride to a well established Christian sanctuary appropriately named, 'El Sanctuary'.
The area was nothing short of breath-taking, nature all around, plenty of open space and many friendly dogs just waiting for a pat on the head and some playful marshmallow chasing, a true sanctuary. The sanctuary was managed by a kind family who have made it their lives to run the place. The sessions we attended were very informative and group sharing really made me think and look into my heart for the answers. The food, as was expected, was magnificent, being to many camps, most of my most dreaded experiences tend to happen because of the food, imagine my surprise when the most tantalizing of aromas wafted in to the hall when the facilitators opened the doors to inform us the food was ready.
I spent many nights in the air conditioned hall just sitting and talking to my friends about our lives and comparing jokes (some of which were a little...racist) haha, but nobody got offended.
It was an amazing trip filled with fun, merry-making, information, and many new friends well, my diligence has run out, hopefully the next time I update will be after my trip to penang for another camp, so till then, 'Arrivederci alla prossima volta' (goodbye, until next time (Italian (because it is one of my favorite languages)))
p.s. just a note, i actually wrote this entry beforehand but did not get a chance to post it xD
p.s. just a note, i actually wrote this entry beforehand but did not get a chance to post it xD
Sunday, 6 May 2012
journal entry 11
Entry for English Class - May - week 14 & 15
Exams are almost here!! As I type out this entry, I realise that this is my last stress free weekend for the next THREE weeks as I will be facing one of all teenagers' fiercest adversaries...MIDTERMS. Oh, just the thought of that word and the three weeks of torture that are sure to come with it makes my skin crawl. The shiver that runs up my spine is, discomforting to say the least...
Moreover, the moment I go home, I'm going to have to rush through my add math and moral projects. Now, we were given at least a month for this Add Math project (well, I think its more like a couple of weeks, but I'll round off the number to make my life easier) and more than a couple of months for the Moral project. Now, to any sensible homo sapien, this seems like plenty of time to finish these projects. However, keep in mind, I am still a teenager, meaning, I have mastered the skill of 'procrastinating' (I'm not saying all teenagers are like me, but you have to admit...most of us are like this...) so I have to rush through another project...again (One would think I would have learned my lesson after so many times, oh well...)
Well, seeing as I do not want to prolong this entry any longer, as I want to occupy the remaining time I have procrastinating till I have to stay up till very early in the morning finishing up my projects... Cheerio, my good people. Till next time.
Exams are almost here!! As I type out this entry, I realise that this is my last stress free weekend for the next THREE weeks as I will be facing one of all teenagers' fiercest adversaries...MIDTERMS. Oh, just the thought of that word and the three weeks of torture that are sure to come with it makes my skin crawl. The shiver that runs up my spine is, discomforting to say the least...
Moreover, the moment I go home, I'm going to have to rush through my add math and moral projects. Now, we were given at least a month for this Add Math project (well, I think its more like a couple of weeks, but I'll round off the number to make my life easier) and more than a couple of months for the Moral project. Now, to any sensible homo sapien, this seems like plenty of time to finish these projects. However, keep in mind, I am still a teenager, meaning, I have mastered the skill of 'procrastinating' (I'm not saying all teenagers are like me, but you have to admit...most of us are like this...) so I have to rush through another project...again (One would think I would have learned my lesson after so many times, oh well...)
Well, seeing as I do not want to prolong this entry any longer, as I want to occupy the remaining time I have procrastinating till I have to stay up till very early in the morning finishing up my projects... Cheerio, my good people. Till next time.
Dear Editor
Dear editor,
In this multicultural country that we live in, one will most definitely encounter many facets of our colourful society. Be that as it may, I am not addressing this letter to you so as to rave about our cultural differences. Instead, I wish to highlight on a few 'unique' Malaysian behaviors that have been practically indoctrinated here. While many advertise our beloved country as the perfect tropical getaway, by highlighting mostly on the good aspects of Malaysians, we must acknowledge that there are still many social problems that have yet to be established as well as a few unacceptable behaviours that are portrayed by some Malaysians.
One of the daily problems that I have encountered is the inability to obey the law when it comes to parking. Now, some may have to resort to illegal parking when they have no other choice, now although it is illegal, it can be acceptable if the driver parks his/her car in a fashion that does not disrupt traffic or causes any inconvenience to other road users. However, many cases of illegal parking i.e. especially double or triple parking, are mostly caused by the driver's inconsideration to others. For example, the roads outside most schools tend to get very congested when it is time for the students to be picked up. Normally, it is understandable if many parents come at once, however, the situation nowadays is that parents have become selfish, they are unwilling to drive a few inches in front so that they do not block the traffic, instead they want to be in front of the gate, going to the extent of double or triple parking just to be in front of the gate. This act of selfishness will be inculcated by their children, making this an endless cycle of selfish drivers who park where they want, when they want without considering others.
Next, many Malaysians have no problem with littering even if the next dustbin is only a few steps away. This paints a very unsightly picture for the eyes of visitors. While a few locals do not mind the overwhelming stench of garbage as they are used to it, visitors from other countries, especially Europe where hygiene is of the utmost priority, will be appalled by the amount of rubbish littered on sidewalks and other public places, where uncleared produces a foul odour. Many Malaysians also have no issue with spitting. Perhaps it is acceptable to spit on dirt roads or the like, but I have personally seen, a bunch of youngsters spitting on the floor of a cafe in an established shopping mall. This crude behaviour is to a point, disgusting and should not be done in public places as it is also quite a self-centered behaviour.
Furthermore, many youths today are quite self-centered. Just the other day, it was quite busy in the subway as I waited for my train. Many people were lining up to get onto the subway train when the person in front of me suddenly stopped to talk to her 'friend' causing the whole line to stop. When I tried to politely ask her and her friend to give way, they had the audacity to turn up their noses at me and continue talking in the middle of the road. As I was desperate to not miss the last train, I had to resort to 'inconspicuously' shove them aside, causing them to give me a dirty look, which I cared not about.
These issues that I have highlighted are only the tip of the iceberg of rude behaviour in our country. As a fellow human, I am aware that it is imposibble for anyone to be perfect, this does not mean we have an excuse to be inconsiderate to others. I do not ask others so force themselves to be perfect, I merely request that we display a basic level of courtesy in our daily lives.
In this multicultural country that we live in, one will most definitely encounter many facets of our colourful society. Be that as it may, I am not addressing this letter to you so as to rave about our cultural differences. Instead, I wish to highlight on a few 'unique' Malaysian behaviors that have been practically indoctrinated here. While many advertise our beloved country as the perfect tropical getaway, by highlighting mostly on the good aspects of Malaysians, we must acknowledge that there are still many social problems that have yet to be established as well as a few unacceptable behaviours that are portrayed by some Malaysians.
One of the daily problems that I have encountered is the inability to obey the law when it comes to parking. Now, some may have to resort to illegal parking when they have no other choice, now although it is illegal, it can be acceptable if the driver parks his/her car in a fashion that does not disrupt traffic or causes any inconvenience to other road users. However, many cases of illegal parking i.e. especially double or triple parking, are mostly caused by the driver's inconsideration to others. For example, the roads outside most schools tend to get very congested when it is time for the students to be picked up. Normally, it is understandable if many parents come at once, however, the situation nowadays is that parents have become selfish, they are unwilling to drive a few inches in front so that they do not block the traffic, instead they want to be in front of the gate, going to the extent of double or triple parking just to be in front of the gate. This act of selfishness will be inculcated by their children, making this an endless cycle of selfish drivers who park where they want, when they want without considering others.
Next, many Malaysians have no problem with littering even if the next dustbin is only a few steps away. This paints a very unsightly picture for the eyes of visitors. While a few locals do not mind the overwhelming stench of garbage as they are used to it, visitors from other countries, especially Europe where hygiene is of the utmost priority, will be appalled by the amount of rubbish littered on sidewalks and other public places, where uncleared produces a foul odour. Many Malaysians also have no issue with spitting. Perhaps it is acceptable to spit on dirt roads or the like, but I have personally seen, a bunch of youngsters spitting on the floor of a cafe in an established shopping mall. This crude behaviour is to a point, disgusting and should not be done in public places as it is also quite a self-centered behaviour.
Furthermore, many youths today are quite self-centered. Just the other day, it was quite busy in the subway as I waited for my train. Many people were lining up to get onto the subway train when the person in front of me suddenly stopped to talk to her 'friend' causing the whole line to stop. When I tried to politely ask her and her friend to give way, they had the audacity to turn up their noses at me and continue talking in the middle of the road. As I was desperate to not miss the last train, I had to resort to 'inconspicuously' shove them aside, causing them to give me a dirty look, which I cared not about.
These issues that I have highlighted are only the tip of the iceberg of rude behaviour in our country. As a fellow human, I am aware that it is imposibble for anyone to be perfect, this does not mean we have an excuse to be inconsiderate to others. I do not ask others so force themselves to be perfect, I merely request that we display a basic level of courtesy in our daily lives.
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